


TATAKAE!

by Ichimuune



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Feels, Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 13:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ichimuune/pseuds/Ichimuune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Eren said he wants to join the Survey Corps."<br/>When Eren's mother hears this, she does everything she can to put her foot down.<br/>Karla's PoV, up to the point of the Titan Invasion.</p>
<p>Also, not exactly major character death, but it was the closest warning that applied.</p>
            </blockquote>





	TATAKAE!

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings peoples :3 Welcome to my first attempt at an SNK/AoT fanfic. This is my take on Karla's response to Eren wanting to join the Survey Corps. I had wanted to do something like this for a while now. It gets a bit...mentally painful at the very end, I think. This is mainly to get my feet wet in the realm of SNK Fanfic writing. I haven't written something since...about 2010. And I think that was more forced. My last true good writing was back in 2008.  
> Anyway...I listened to the numerous sad tracks from the SNK OST on youtube to get this right. There may be spelling/grammar errors, I will fix them as I come across them. Thankyou so much for swinging by to check it out. I hope I did this scene justice.
> 
> Also, I did this in first person to try to get you inside Karla's mind. No idea if it worked. First attempt at a first person story, too. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

**Tatakae!**

 

"Eren said he wants to join the Survey Corps."

Silence filled the household suddenly, as Mikasa's soft, reserved voice spoke the words that NO parent ever wanted to hear. I turned from the dishes in shock, my golden-amber eyes wide in fear, my loose black ponytail whipping around softly on my shoulder. Why in the world would Eren want to do that?!

"M-Mikasa, I told you not to tell them!" Eren cried out in disbelief, slamming his spoon down on the wooden table with a distinctive metallic thunk. His green-aqua eyes were well rounded in shock and worry, framed by the mess of dark dirt-brown hair that was fluffed across his head. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say his blood ran cold at that moment. And as it well should have! I bolted from the sink to rush around to him, my still-wet hands gripping his shoulders, shaking him slightly.

"Eren! What are you thinking?? Do you know how many people have died outside the walls?" I blurted out, my mouth dry at the prospect of him joining the ranks of the Survey Corps, the one group who had the absolute highest death rate. Only thirty percent ever made it back from their expeditions. That knowledge alone was enough to surround my heart in ice and make my mind go numb. I couldn't let him do this! He is my only son!

"I do!" 

Eren's voice sliced through my frozen mind like a heated blade, searing straight into the depths of my soul. Anger retaliated back against that verbal blade and pushed back, bubbling up at the back of my throat. It was no wonder where Eren got his abrupt and firey nature.

"In that case-!" I blurted out, about to give Eren a good piece of my mind. I wasn't about to let him join the one military class that would get him killed two steps outside of the walls! I refused!

"Eren." 

Ahh, my blessed husband. I looked up, my words freezing in my throat, even though my anger and hurt over Eren's choice threatened to still spill off of my lips. My eyes caught his, his deep pools of blue and silver set behind simple, rounded silver frames. They were always so calm, so calculating. Somehow, staring into Grisha's eyes always calmed my heart. Mentally I smiled. That was why I married him. He was my perfect counterpart. Where I fumed, he was the water to cool me. Where I raged, he was the breeze to soothe me. Where I cried, he was the laughter that made my soul smile. When I feared, he was the stalwart being to slay my demons. He was everything to me. I felt myself calming even now, as he spoke to our son.

" Why do you want to go outside?" He asked calmly. His voice was the solidarity that kept this family sane, happy and together. He was our wall. We both watched as Eren turned to look his father dead in the eye. 

"I want to know what it's like out there. I don't want to spend my life inside the walls, not knowing anything! Also...if no one carries on their work, all the casualties till now will have been in vain!" Eren replied, a fire in the depths of his soul showing brighter with each word. Grisha watched closely, seeing the brillance and clarity in his son's eyes. I couldn't see it, as he was turned from me. But I saw something in the reflection in my husband's glasses as he leaned back slightly, and I heard a tone from Eren I had never heard before. It was a solid determination. A desire. A curiosity.

A need. A deep, unrestrained NEED. Almost primal.

But of what? To just explore? To protect? Or to fight? But how could he fight? He always came home with bruises and scratch marks from trying to defend his friend, Armin. It was always Mikasa who got them out of fights without a scratch to her own skin. 

".....I see." 

Grisha's gentle voice held a sense of having conceded the argument. There was no way that anyone would deter Eren from doing what he dreamed of. And he saw it. That flame within his eyes spoke of a type of determination and guts that no one had seen in ages. It took a special type of person to join the Survey Corps, and it was rare to find them anymore. If Eren wished to join the Survey Corps, then he would support it. He didn't like it, but...who was he to keep his son in that cage that Eren felt they were all in?

"The ship is waiting. I'll be going now." He stood, picking up his now-packed bag and plucking his hat from the rack next to the table, sliding it onto his head, which sported the same dark dirt-brown hair as his son's, only kept more neatly. My eyes widened as I realized that he wasn't going to tell Eren no. That he wasn't going to yell at him for entertaining the idea, to tell him how bad the idea was, and how he might get killed too easily. I stood, rushing to stop my all-too-calm husband. My heart pounded in my head with each step as I reached out for him, grasping his coat sleeves, my eyes pleading with him to reconsider.

"Wait...you need to talk to Eren!" I cried out, trying to turn him back to Eren. If anyone could convince our son, it would be him. I watched in rising defeat as he gently shook his head, tugging his hat on a bit tighter.

"Karla, human curiosity is not something you can restrain with a lecture." He said calmly, staring into my eyes, letting the coolness of his soul wash over me again. Despite myself, I couldn't help but feel the fear, worry and anger begin to lessen slightly. I watched as he turned back to Eren, a gentle smile on his face. 

"Eren. When I get back, I'll show you what I've kept secret in the basement all this time." He spoke as he reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a simple yet elegant brass key. The key to the basement. It was a simple skeleton key with diamond shape on the end of it, capped by tiny balls of brass metal. The sides of the brass diamond were curved inwards slightly, allowing the key to catch the light and reflect it brilliantly across both his and my face as it turned and swayed in the doorway between us. I glanced at the key - and suddenly the fear I felt faded a bit, but not completely. I looked back at Eren, watching his eyes widen in excitement. Neither he nor Mikasa knew what was down there. They didn't even know how important it was. If Eren knew...

"R-Really?" Eren exclaimed, his bright aqua eyes shimmering with wide-eyed excitement. He had always wanted to see what was down there. Never had he been allowed to see it. Why now? Was it because he wanted to join the Survey Corps? Either way, it would be awesome!

My husband only nodded as he put the key away, turning to give me a soft, reassuring kiss before he stepped out the door. I followed him out, trailed by our son and adopted daughter. Eren excitedly hopped down the stairs, waving goodbye to his father.

"Bye!!" he cried out, waving as if his arm might fall off. I sighed and turned to him, still determined, despite what was in the basement, to deter him away from joining the Death Corps, as I personally felt it should be called.

"I won't let you." 

Eren stopped his waving and looked at me, bewildered.

"Joining the Survey Corps? Don't be stupid." I said flatly, staring right at him, my hands clasped in front of me across my apron. It was my usual not-taking-no-for-an-answer pose. Eren just gawked at me, then glared, backing up a step.

"Huh? Stupid?!" He retorted, pointing out towards the rest of the town in anger. "I think people who're fine being cattle are way more stupid!" He wasn't even finished yelling at me before he turned and ran down the alley, leaving my heart burning again in sadness, worry and anger.

"Eren!" I called out futilely. But there was no stopping him at this point. Frantically, I turned to Mikasa, who I felt taking a few steps towards me from behind. I gripped her shoulders, kneeling down towards her. Her rich black hair fell further in front of her face as I caught her, my fear that I felt welling back up inside me, forcing its way through my hands and becoming visible in my eyes again. Basement be damned...Eren didn't know right now. And right now, he needed to be steered in the right direction and away from something that would get him killed sooner than he needed to be.

"Mikasa...sometimes he doesn't think things through. When you're in trouble, you must help one another." It was my only plea to her as his sister...to keep him safe, no matter what. I never knew how literal she would take it. I watched as she nodded only slightly, a single soft word forming on her lips.

"Okay."

\---

Mikasa had run off to find Eren, leaving me alone to fight my fears alone. I hated the idea. I hated it all. Eren...my only son...was determined to just go off and get himself killed. I turned back to go inside, only half aware that I still had dishes from todays lunch to finish. I left the door open to allow for a breeze to blow through. It was a calm enough day, with the air temperature hovering in the seventies. Normal sounds from every day life filtered in. Everything seemed so calm right now. I collapsed in the chair that Eren had been sitting in, covering my face in in one hand, staring out through the windows above the kitchen sink. Several birds on strings swayed slighty back and forth, allowing thin trails of sunlight to dance between the feathers on the outstreched wings. Two birds were next to each other. One white and one black. The wing from the white bird crossed in front of the wing of the black one, forming a familiar symbol. The sun outside was sitting at just the right angle that it began to glimmer at the part where the two wings met and crossed. The black now took on a golden bluish tone to it, where as the white seemed to glow in a heavenly golden light. I growled softly and lowered my gaze. Everything vowed to remind me of what Eren wanted to do.

I stood again, collecting the dishes, suddenly angry that Eren hadn't finished his lunch. Didn't he know how precious food was?? I sighed and poured what was left of the soup back into the larger pot, keeping it on a low fire for the time being. It didn't need to go bad quickly. Huffing to myself in annoyance and anger now over two things, I tossed Eren's bowl back over to the sink, where it clattered loudly -perhaps too loudly?- against the other dishes. At that same split second, a brillant, blinding flash of light washed over the whole town. The ground shook violently, causing me to stumble to the left, then right, smacking into one of the support beams of our little home. The breath was knocked out of me as a different kind of fear began to well up in the center of my being, as well as confusion layering the outside of that. 

It took a moment for me to catch my breath, however no longer did I manage that than there was yet another crash. But this was different. My heart began to beat faster and harder as I reached for the door, hearing a strange whistling noise growing louder. My fingers grasped the door handle and pulled.

I don't remember what happened next. I remember searing pain in my legs, then nothing. Pain in my chest as I suddenly laid across a wooden beam. Pain in my back as the roof now rested on top of me. Helpless. I was completely helpless. Panic filled my senses as I tried to struggle out from underneath the roof's support beams, but to no avail. My legs weren't moving, not to mention I couldn't feel them now.  
If I didn't know panic then, I knew it when screams erupted across the town. Bloodcurdling, fearful screams. The screams of humans trapped. Screams of humans within seconds of death. Ice cold fear, much different than with my objection of Eren's desire, gripped me from the depths of my soul and spread outward. There would be only one reason why people would be screaming like that. Never once had I heard those screams before.

The Titans were inside. Somehow, they were inside.

"MOM! MOM!"

My head snapped up at the sound of Eren's frantic voice, a sudden wash of warm relief that he was safe flooded over me. And there, behind him...Mikasa.

"Eren..." I managed out, my words far more weak than I thought. Was I losing blood? I wouldn't doubt it. If I couldn't feel my legs, it was a good possibility. I watched as he and Mikasa took up position on either side of me, reaching to grab the beam that rested on my back.

"Mikasa, grab that side! We have to get this off her!" my son yelled, pulling with a strength I didn't realize he had. My eyes watered, watching him pull. The weight of the beam began to lessen from my back as the two of them worked hard for a moment. After a second, Eren paused, staring at something in the distance and then behind the now-crumbled house. I knew instantly from his expression. That terrified, horrified, instinct-driven look on his face as his eyes went wider than I had ever seen them. My own heart pounded faster, fearing for not only my life, but theirs.

"Hurry, Mikasa!" 

"I know!" 

I could feel them struggling more, the weight lifting off of me again. These two brave children...I was so proud of them. I feared for their safety, but I couldn't help the welling of pride that blossomed out from the pit of my stomach and covered every inch of my body at how hard they were trying for me. But I knew...I knew the sacrifice that would have to be made so they would live. Any mother would do the same...

"The Titans are inside, aren't they?" I asked as calmly as I could, looking at Mikasa, then Eren. I looked up at him, square in the eyes as he tried harder and harder to lift the beam. 

"Eren, take Mikasa and run! Now!"

"I want to run! So hurry and get out of there!" He cried, shaking his head and pulling again, feeling the wood beam slip, driving splinters into his hands. Blood began to coat the wood, but he kept trying, ignoring the pain. He grasped again and lifted yet again, his face contorting with pain and determination.

"My legs were crushed by the rubble. Even if I get out, I can't run. You understand, don't you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice level and calm. If I let on I was terrified, they would freak out and do something stupid and die to a Titan. I watched as his eyes filled with an emotion that no parent should ever have to see. The realization that their mother or father was going to die, and likely right before their eyes. Tears lined the bottom of Eren's eyes as they widened with an unnamed horror, staring at me. I hated that look. HATED it. I had basically told them to run and leave me behind. To let me die. How could I ask my children to do that? 

How...? 

To make them live. 

To survive. 

To Fight.

It was to my dismay that the stubborn determination that ran through my veins and his, surfaced in his eyes and he refused to back down. 

"Then I'll carry you!" 

Anger split my spirit in half in that instant. I HAD to get him to listen to me! He, and Mikasa, HAD to live! Why....why...

"Why do you never listen to me?! At least listen this one last time!" I cried out, begging for Eren to take Mikasa and leave, before the Titans showed up and had us all. I glanced at Mikasa, who, for the first time in years, was crying. My eyes widened at this. I knew what had happened before, when Mikasa's parents had been murdered. Now she was facing losing me, too. My heart broke at the sight of this. My own tears began to fall, and fall hard. Regardless, I HAD to get them out of here.

"Mikasa!"

Never before had Mikasa ever defied me, until now.

"No...No!" Her voice was soft at first, and cracked as she spoke again, louder. Her entire body was shaking, her face covered by her long ebony hair. For just a moment, I allowed myself a moment to stare at how beautiful her hair was in the setting sun, how the gold light accented and glittered off of the black strands. Mentally I shook my head back to reality. 

"If you don't go, all three of us will..."

My words were cut off by the sound of a cable zip line being let out, clamping onto concrete, releasing and then coiling back in. The sound of the 3D Maneuver Gear, the gear that at least two of the three military branches used to fight the Titans. Relief surged through me as I saw a familiar, blond-haired man rushing towards us.

"Hannes! Take the children and run!" I cried out, desperation clearly evident in my voice. My eyes were filled with worry for the two young ones at my side, the two who fought so hard to lift an impossible wood beam and roof off of my back. I watched as Hannes knelt before me, a gentle and reassuring smile forming on his face.

"Don't underestimate me, Karla. I'll defeat the Titan, and save you all!" He said, standing again and clipping a blade to each of his hilts, yanking them out of the blade bays of the Maneuver Gear. My eyes widened in fear for him now. He was the only one who could get Eren and Mikasa out of here safely. I struggled again, trying desperately to get his attention.

"Wait! Don't try to fight it!" I cried out desperately, my voice cracking. To my right, Eren's hands were bloody from splinters, his tears falling and mixing with the blood. To my left, Mikasa was in the same state. My heart lurched hard, a fresh pang of overwhelming emotion pushing my own tears out again. I wanted them safe. They needed to live! Dammit, Hannes, don't die!

A sudden movement to my right again, and suddenly Eren was being scooped up, followed by Mikasa. Both relief and terror washed over me. Relief that Hannes was taking them away...terror that this meant that the Titan was still there, and I was likely the next target. My body was shaking in both shock and the fear of dying. 

"Wait, Hannes! What are you doing?!" Eren screamed, wriggling in Hannes' arms trying to get free. I knew that my son would be scarred over this. I smiled sadly, watching Hannes take them away.

"Thankyou..." I whispered softly, seeing them being taken to safety. They would be safe. Thank God. 

"My mom is still back there! MOM!" 

Eren's desperate cries tore their way into my heart and soul, ripping open a fresh wound. The wound that marked a separation that would never be closed again. In a flash, I realized everything I would never see. To see Eren grow up and become strong. Perhaps a member of the military. A brief flash of an older Eren in the military uniform and the 3D Maneuver Gear and Harness suddenly drove a sense of pride into my heart, as well as sorrow. What about Mikasa? To grow up as a beautiful and strong woman, to maybe get married some day and have children of her own? What about my husband? Oh God, my husband...he would never know until it was too late. What if he didn't make it out of the town in time? What if the Titans broke through the next gate? Oh no...No!!

Instinctively my free hand reached out towards Hannes and my two children, my voice ringing clear for them to hear my last wish, tears salting the last words I would ever speak to them.

"Eren! Mikasa! You must survive!"

A momentary flash of younger times in our kitchen, me wiping something off of Eren's face with Mikasa and Grisha watching on, chuckling. Eren wasn't amused at that point. A pang of pain and sadness washed over me, rocking me to the core. I suddenly didn't want them to leave. I wanted to hold them until the last minute. But in all of my logical mind, I couldn't let that happen. They needed to survive. They got smaller and smaller as Hannes ran off with them, rounding a corner as I raised a hand to my face, covering my mouth as my tears fell in streams hot across my cheeks. My body surged with each gasp of air between tears.

"Don't go..." I pleaded quietly, whimpering softly into my hand. They were already out of sight. I would never see my reasons for living again. 

Then I felt it. The shuddering step as the Titan stepped next to the house. It stopped, having spotted me. Dread filled my entire being as the roof was suddenly shoved off of me. I still couldn't move my legs, but I managed to turn my waist enough to see the large hand of death reaching down to grab me. I screamed...not like that would stop it. Screams never stopped these...these... _things_. There was no other way to describe them. Demons, maybe. But they were humanity's demons. Something that was the product of some horrific experiment some hundred or so years ago. 

I squirmed and cried out again, raising my fists to beat against this monster that was hellbent on devouring every last bit of the human race for an unknown purpose. Was there even a purpose to all of this massacre...?

But...even so...Even in the face of certain death...yes, that horrible, grinning face that gave the appearance of enjoyment on the Titan's face...I still felt a strange peace overcome me even as I fought hard against the oversized, heated hand that now gripped me. Hannes was taking the children away. Above all, with my last bit of strength, I prayed. I prayed hard. I prayed for Eren to survive and become strong. I prayed for Mikasa to guard him and keep them both alive. I prayed for my wonderful husband to stay safe and out of the reach of the Titan's foul hands. I prayed for them to find each other. Tears spilled down my cheeks as the terror of dying in such a way gripped both my body and heart. I still continued to fight. My children...Eren...Mikasa...they needed time to get away! Fight...FIGHT! Keep fighting! Do everything you can to distract the Titan! They deserved a chance to live and fight for themselves! 

My small fists beat down hard against the heated, leathery skin of the Titan. It didn't matter if the time was just a few seconds...that would be all they needed. Every second counted. With every fiber in my being I fought back. I couldn't feel my legs, but I imagined...no, I -knew- they were kicking. Even in their shattered state, they still kicked. In my mind, my heart beat a wild red fire into my eyes, my fists continually pounding against the hand that held me. My voice was raw by now from screaming. But still one word screamed through my entire being with every heartbeat.

FIGHT!

It worked, even for the few seconds I had hoped for. Another hand raised up beside me and engulfed me. The stench...I could smell death upon it's hands. Almost rotting, and yet a strange leathery smell mixed with the unmistakable iron scent of blood and muscle. 

"STOP!"

At that moment, hearing Eren's voice ring out across our town put my heart at peace as the Titan's hand closed around me, suffocating me. A mere second felt like eternity as suddenly most of my body broke. Snaps and breaking of nearly every bone in my body, followed by the most intense pain I had ever felt. It was like someone pouring acid on my body and lighting it on fire. I wanted to scream, but my body had fallen limp. Darkness surged around the edges of my vision. I swore I could see Eren, Mikasa and my husband Grisha in front of me...smiling. They stood together, strong. Behind them, the glint of ugly off-white teeth announced my coming end. The smell got worse. But I stared forward, seeing my family...my heart...my reason for living...my reason for fighting...hovering in front of my eyes. 

The Titan's mouth opened wider as it brought me just inside. As it did, Eren's words flashed through my mind.

_"I want to know what it's like out there. I don't want to spend my life inside the walls, not knowing anything! Also...if no one carries on their work, all the casualties till now will have been in vain!"_

I smiled and closed my eyes, their images becoming brighter. 

"Go, Eren. Spread your Wings and fly. Fulfill your dream, Eren...and Fight!"

There was a moment of sharp pain...and then a peaceful darkness surrounded me. Consciousness flickered. Their names floated across my now-dying mind briefly before it was all over.....

 

Eren watched in absolute horror and terror as the Titan bit down, a spray of blood flying across the town. His mind snapped when a fleck of blood landed on his cheek. Everything went completely numb. All the rage, pain and hatred towards the Titans would be sealed in a mental box....

Until five years later and fifteen meters high...

 

_That day, Humanity remembered...the terror of being ruled by them. The humiliation of being kept in a cage._

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so what did you think? Justice done? Needs flames on the author? Nuuuuuu don't flame me! *ducks under a rock* o.o


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